Alarm bleeps loudly and you wake up. Squint.
Bedside by you is empty and cold.
Pitch black light radiates inside. You do not seem to have the power
to get out of bed.
Tired, wrecked, beat you get out of your parents house.
27 years old you will become in a few days.
Your brain is asleep
You are bored out of your mind
You are almost skint
You leave with your parents.
Haven’t had a fuck in what feels like ages.
You gave up wearing g star years ago. Couldn’t afford all that.
Your to do list;
Clothes to fold, more clothes to fold, more tidying to do, more scanning, more smiling,
You wonder what happened to the good old times
The music has stopped. A dead harsh silence.
No more wild parties – they are all gone in the wind. Puddle.
No more girls - no more pulling. No more beer cans.
No more showing of your ass
No more going to the gym everyday
No more messing about and being a big man, Huh.
Rains cash for me each month. I could bath in money if I fancy.
Make paper marche statutes. Make a chocker.
Sprinkle it like rose petals over the floor and the mattress - make love on it.
My bank account about to bust from its seams.
I can buy and have whatever my mind conjures up.
I hit the shops Saturday morning
Birds Sing. Sun Shines in my eyes.
My town house I leave
Into my Alfa Romeo I toss my desinger bag
I admire myself in the mirror. Beautiful hair. Twinkling eyes. Pout
It’s a pity the mirror can’t peak at my body.
I walk into the shop. Strut towards the dress section
I pick out one, two, three. I lose count.
I choose a few. To the till I go.
There I see you.
I have taken you by surprise obviously.
Remember me? Of course you do.
How long ago did you see my visage?
A long time ago. Centuries for you. Not for me though.
I blew your mind away
Your eyes are nailed hard on me.
All your dreams are shattered. Not that you had much in the first place.
You breathe in my very own fragrance
Your heart tug hard
Your eyes glint. Evidently you are dreaming of me
Your heart is an cold unmoving rock, as you pretend
There are many things you need.
A girlfriend, affection, a warm embrace, french kissing, sex
But those things are absent. A deep void in your life.
Your heart crippled, but you only have yourself to blame. Not me.
I revealed my crush, I waited and I waited. I got nothing in return.
Now you realise. Now you feel the emptiness, the desperation, the need
You want me in your bed to be all yours!
You want to graze my flesh and have what you missed out on!
You where never brave enough or manly enough to tell me how you feel –
You did not whispered or stuttered a word
I have somebody now. He loves me. Loves who I am and how I am.
He would do anything for me. Just like I for him.
There is a bond that is beyond words can explain.
It is a love boud that transcends time, space, lighting and the earth.
It is created in Heaven. It was like we knew each other in another life.
He knows my very soul, the very core of my being.
He kisses the ground I walk upon. He is gorgeous too.
He talks, craves, kisses, strokes and spoils me
He also makes me purr.
To him I am a mermaid, a lioness, an empress, his love, his soul mate,
He bushes my hair before we get into bed because I am a princess.
My heart belongs to him. On our left hands we wear engagement rings Inscribed, “Love beyond the earthly plain”
He whispers that he loves me
I put on my silk night gown. Lay in bed with him. Then we are in a passionate clasp.
You go home at the end of your tough shift. Dark house. Empty bed
The sounds of cars, busses, motorcycles, teenagers making banter, Guys laughing
The air is cold and stiff and you feel the heat of your own breath
You wonder how things turned out like that?
You do not want to admit it to yourself, but you fucked up – you lost her, rejected her, toyed with her, broke her heart. Played the game of catch me if you can.
Wish you where together. A couple. Wish you had her love. Wish she is yours. to kiss.
She would ask you about your day at work, stroke all your clothes off, run her hands all over your body
Get you into bed, under the covers, in between the sheets, - and you would embrace her
hastily, moving into her, running your tired, exhausted hands all over her.
You would grasp her curves and swerves, and be able to feel the pounding of her heart
In the morning you would wake up and she would be sleeping by your side.
The darkness over her Goddess body, her curves visible even in the dark
You cry when you get home.
- x -
When I get home I am greeted at the door by my loving fiance.
I gift him with designer clothes. But I know that nothing is better than the gift of my love and affection. Money can’t buy you that.
We are going to the Maldives ; Siren sea, Gentle splashing of waves, Soft swagging of hammock, hot tub cocktails and moon light boat ride.
Nothing will make me give up what I have.
By Elena Kokonova
Hope you liked this poem. It is one of my favorite. Give me feedback if you have time.